Are You Good Enough?

Do you find yourself asking that question or feeling frequently like you are not good enough? Me too, and I'm working to change the belief that I'm not good enough.  

I have a life coach and we just had a great session talking about beliefs.  I'm going to share it with you in hopes it will help you, just as much as it helped me.  As author Brene' Brown says, "I'm daring greatly and being vulnerable".
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It all started out by my asking for help prioritizing the never-ending list of things to do.  She asked me what in my "to do lists" are musts? I answered exercise, spiritual connection, meditation, and creative artistry. I told her that I believe these three things are part of my holistic health; that I believe my health is my wealth.

She then asked a doozy of a question: "What about rest? You have not mentioned rest as part of your health."  Oooooooh, gee, guilty on that one!

LC, my coach, is great on so many levels.  She reminded me to congratulate myself on doing so well in getting those three things in every day.  It's important to acknowledge your accomplishments, every day.

The meat of our session was that I believe that I have to get "it all done", I have to be perfect, in order to be enough. Does that ring true for you?  LC reminded me that being perfect is unattainable and that I need to give myself grace.

She told me my belief of I have to be perfect, is just that and I can change my beliefs.  But before we got in to how I can change my belief, she asked me how this particular belief, that I have to be perfect to be enough, benefited me. Great question!

Here are my answers: 

• It keeps my standards high.
• I have a better quality of life.
• I learn and grow every day.
• It makes me feel better about myself.
• It influences who I hang out with - my circle of friends influence and lifts me up.

How does that belief cost me?

• I have a never-ending stress.
• It makes me tired! (I laughed out loud when I said that. Talk about an aha moment!)
• It's unattainable, so I will NEVER feel like I am enough.

Next, she asked me to list the benefits of changing my belief to "I am enough just as I am".
I can rest!

• It decreases my stress level.
• I can have more fun.
• I don't have to be hell bent on getting everything done.
• I can be more comfortable in my skin, relaxing in to the belief that I am enough, right now.
• I can value myself knowing that I am enough.
• I don't have to hit the floor running as soon as I get out of bed.
• I can slow down my day and not feel so rushed.
• I can ENJOY things more.

Now, the greatest question, what will it cost me to change my belief?  Oooofh! What?  It's going to COST ME? Yup...

• I have to face that adopting this new way of thinking will make me feel inadequate.
• I have to be disciplined in my thoughts
• I have to hold myself responsible to changing my belief.

Wow, so good, right?  We then uncovered that feeling not enough is equivalent to feeling not worthy.
I was brought up to believe that if you keep God's commandments, you will "prosper in the land". I inherited my Dad's interpretation of that, which meant, you will be financially rich.  When I was in my late 20s, my Dad mentioned that maybe "prosper in the land" didn't mean financial wealth.  WHAT?!?! I had totally ingrained that in my psyche and work ethic. 

What's a poor mama to do? I'm going to have to find something else to base my worth and value on besides money or the current definition of PROSPER that I have been choosing. I freely admit that I have a goal of having millions of dollars in the bank. I'm not changing the goal, but as ironic as it sounds, changing my belief that I am enough right now, will help me get to it. Isn't that mind blowing?

So, to start, I now define "prosper in the land" as owning my home, having a wonderful garden, being blessed with wonderful friends and family, having healthy food to eat every day.

During our coaching session, these words came to me: I create my abundance through peace.  I look forward to believing and living THAT!

I'll be honest, it's going to take some work for me to change my belief. But I fully see the benefit of doing so.  Will you join me in believing that you are good enough, that you are worthy, right now?

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