Life is full of challenges. When these challenges present themselves, it’s so important that you ask yourself the right questions. Here are three good ones to keep you on the path of happiness and their counterpart questions that will keep you stuck and miserable.
What’s good about this?/ Why is Life so unfair? When you ask what’s good about something challenging, it makes you open up to a paradigm shift. Most of us tend to lean to the negative. Asking what’s great about this forces you to search for goodness. I recently had a disappointing experience; heartbreaking, really. I was all geared up to start a new venture and spent a lot of time preparing for it. When it fell through, asking what was good about it really put me back on track and out of my pity party. I was able to list many things that were good about it. What can I learn from this?/ Will it ever work for me? Whoa, when I asked myself this question, a lot of answers came up! I learned that big decisions need to be well thought out, not jumped into, even if on the surface it seems like a great idea. I learned that if you are doing a joint venture with someone, each persons’ vision needs to be discussed to see if it aligns with your own. This should be done in the very beginning. I learned to look at what is really important. I looked at what I was willing to sacrifice for a future goal. This is very specific to each individual and really needs to be thought out. I learned that I don’t have to sacrifice what I love to be happy or successful in the moment. I learned that though I’m eager to see my dreams come true, I don’t have to be in a rush. Honestly, this wasn’t a fun process to do, but it helped me heal from the disappointment and move on. Who else has succeeded in this?/ How could I ever achieve that? It’s so easy to be discouraged and intimidated by other peoples’ success, when you are just starting out, or are new at something. I find it’s good practice to use successful people as examples that can include you, instead of unattainable stories that exclude you. Let their success reinforce your goal. Most of them started out where you are. Tell yourself if they can do it, you can do it, instead of asking the self-depreciating question of how can I ever achieve that? There are a lot of success stories out there. Pick one (not many) and follow what they have done. I’ll leave you with a bonus question to help you to aim and hit your target: What would I like to achieve? You need to have a clear idea before you start. Take some time to write it out, envision it and post it somewhere you can see it every day. Here is to your happiness and success!
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Have you ever known in your heart that you had to step up and own your worth? Maybe you were being treated with disrespect, taken advantage of, or in an abusive relationship.
I had a situation recently where I was asked to do something for less compensation than I knew I was worth. I knew that I was being given a life lesson I had not fully learned: to speak up, own, and then declare my worth. I was so scared! I didn’t want to be rejected. Having lived a lifetime of swallowing my opinion to keep peace, or taking poor treatment knowing it was wrong, I couldn’t accept less, not this time. So I spent 4 hours crafting an email detailing what I would need to accept the offer being presented to me. I detailed everything I had done to prepare for this position, even before being put on the payroll. I outlined my qualifications, my ideas, what I had to offer, which included my heart and soul. Writing this email was good for me. It solidified who I am and what I am worth. Honestly, I think it is the first time in 62 years that I owned who I am and mustered the courage to declare it. AND IT FEELS GREAT! Well, guess what? What I had to offer was rejected! Honestly, I was disappointed and relieved. I was disappointed because I know I would have brought a tremendous amount of value, creativity, and high quality products to the venue. I was relieved because I don’t want to work with people who don’t see my full value. It took a couple of days to process. I had to work to get to the point where I could truly see it as a blessing. I trust that God will provide me with other opportunities where I can shine, share my gifts and generate a healthy income. How about you? Do you have the courage to own your worth, despite the risk of it being rejected? I’d love to hear your story. If you are working on building courage, I hope my experience helps you. The biggest take away is that other peoples’ opinion or definition of you doesn’t matter. ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU KNOW AND STAND IN YOUR WORTH. I’m sure you have all heard this scripture, or the modern similar saying “Be careful what you wish for” implying that your wishes do come true.
I have been asking God for $20 million dollars for over 15 years now :-) Lately I’ve been letting Him know that I would be happy with a million dollar idea and work up from there! Honestly, I have several requests! I’ve also been asking for an idea for a course I could teach that would help working mothers make their busy lives a little easier. I have been granted my wishes. It came in a 24 hour period. Steve, my husband, and I just returned from a 33 day RV trip. The evening before we returned home, I had a life changing moment. My sister-in-law, Sue, was telling me how unhappy she and her husband were with the chef of their restaurant. I was thinking in my head, “too bad there isn’t a family member who could just step in and be the perfect fit for their business.” The next thought was “uh, that could be me!” Sue’s eyes caught mine, and it was like she read my mind! We kind of toyed with the idea. She and her husband, Dick, said to sleep on it. Well, I didn’t sleep a wink because I kept thinking of a myriad of ideas for recipes and how I would want to run the restaurant. 10 hours later, after talking to Steve about it, we decided it would be a great opportunity, even though it would mean he’d stay home to work, and I’d move to Oregon! What!?!? Yah! If you would have asked me if I’d ever move to another state, the answer would be NO! HAWAII IS HOME. Well, Hawaii is and always will be my home, but I’ll be away for a while. As a little back story, I have been working on getting my content out to the world via social media for over a year. It’s been an adventure with quite a learning curve. My sister has helped me immensely. Progress has been slow. Dick and Sue said it would be a partnership if I agreed to be the chef. I’m not a Chef, I haven’t been to culinary school, but I’ve been cooking for over 50 years, and I’m really good at it. They know that and really want me! They said they would support me, market me, advertise, film me and put my/our stuff out there! They have a much bigger following than I do. It just makes sense that I should do this. I don’t have a million dollars in my hand, but I truly feel, this is the million dollar idea I’ve been praying for. I’m super excited about it and will share my experiences with you as the journey continues!! Dick and Sue are totally on board with me incorporating what I’ve been working on into the business. So the welcome sign at Duffy’s Waterhole in Redmond Oregon will read: Welcome to Mai’s Table, where you find God in gourmet at Duffy’s!!! AWESOMENESS!!! As for the answer for a course, that came the following night at 2 in the morning. It will be a course that offers 30 recipes for busy moms who come home from work and have to cook dinner. It includes 30 videos of me cooking a variety of recipes and giving helpful tips along the way. There will be bonus content for fun ways to have children help in the kitchen. There will also be a bonus on holistic health, mainly how to nurture yourself and bring some peace into your life. I’m so excited to have this opportunity. It feels right. Ask and ye shall receive. What have you been asking for? Expect the answer and be open to what the answer is, no matter how unexpected it is! This is a question only you can answer. Often, the answer gets buried in our daily to do lists, work, adult tasks, like paying the bills or cooking dinner. Can you relate?
I was talking with three of my friends yesterday in a group text. They are all working moms with young children. One of them shared that she was working on a difficult adult task and felt guilty because she felt she should be enjoying one on one time with her child instead. I told her to just ask herself what’s more important right now; that it sounds over simplified, but it’s really quite liberating. I shared that one of my biggest life regrets is that I put work and adult tasks ahead of Jasmine when she was little. You never get that time back. I went back to work three months after giving birth. WHY?!? It’s the American way. In Europe, it’s normal to take a year off work; in Canada two years. I wish I could go back in time and ask myself “what really matters right now?” I can’t change the past, but I can ask myself that question today, and every day forward. So can you. Do you have beautiful little faces looking up to you wanting to play? Can you do the adult tasks later, when they are asleep? What’s more important right now? Are you exhausted? Do you really need some rest and filling up your own cup right now so you have something in your tank? I’ll bet the answer to both these questions is yes. So what do you do? Start saying no to things that really don’t matter, and saying yes to the things that do. (More on this in a future post on boundaries). Do you really have to take an hour to cook tonight? Can you heat up a casserole or leftovers you wisely froze earlier? How about using up some of that canned soup you bought on sale at Costco? Serve it with toast or a grilled cheese sandwich. Have your children help you, even if they are little, especially if they are little! Make the tasks age appropriate. They can put the bread in the toaster, or open the can of soup and pour it in the pot. This gives them a sense of pride and accomplishment, because they are helping mommy, or daddy. It is shared time together and they learn that being a family is helping each other, working together and spending time together. It teaches them that Mom is not responsible for doing everything for them. Folding laundry can be a shared experience. Make it fun. Make it meaningful. Use it to talk to your preteen or teen about what’s going on in their life. Tell them you love them. Ask them what really matters to them. The intention of this blog, of Finding God in Gourmet, and all my content is to take you along with me on my journey of striving to live an extraordinary life, so you can live one too! If you find it helpful, please share it with your friends. Leave a comment and let me know what you are struggling with, or what you want to hear more about. Let me know how I can serve you because that is what really matters to me right now!!! |
AuthorSpiritual Foodie, Chef, Holistic RN, Healer Archives
January 2025
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