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At the time of this writing, the morning of May 25, 2022, it's been nine days since my Mom's stroke and eight days since her heart attack, ten days without food and water. She's 12 days short of being 99 years old.
We were able to bring Mom home on hospice. The Nurses and Staff have been wonderful. I am a Nurse myself and have seen death many times, so you would think this would somehow be more understood by me, or easier for me. It's not. Watching her go through the labor pains of dying has been taxing on all of us. Saying that the first week was hard, is a grave understatement. Each successive day brings a deeper level of struggle - physically for my Mom, and physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually for me. As I say that, I wonder if it's the same for Mom? The physical signs are easily seen, the other aspects can only be speculated on. Throughout this process, though unable to communicate, she has frequently looked reflective and contemplative, like she is going through and cataloging the many lessons and trials she experienced - perhaps gleaning deeper meaning from her almost 99 years.. Is she asking God why this is taking so long, as I and my siblings are? Is her faith waning a bit knowing that her many years of prayers for her to go quickly when it was her time is not being answered? Again, I wonder. It's been five weeks since I started this post. It turned out that Mom passed that night, a little after 8pm. I basically moved in with her when we brought her home on hospice. We were told from the time she left the hospital that her time was close, so we expected her to pass quickly and easily. That didn't happen. I wanted to be with her when she passed. I had the experience all planned out! Ha! After six days with little sleep, I gratefully accepted other family members taking "watch". My husband Steve came over to Mom's house to do the 8pm to midnight shift. The plan was for me to relieve him at midnight. So at 8pm, I went to bed and was saying my prayers. I started talking to my Mom, telling her the door for her to go through was to the right of her (more on that in a different post), as I was talking to her, I heard my sister in law's phone continue to ring. I told Mom that if she couldn't see the door, then look for the light, and if she couldn't see the light, then just ask God where to go. The phone stopped ringing and literally less than a minute later, Steve came into my room and said "I think she took her last breath"..... Stay tuned for more posts to come.  I recently returned from a two week trip to Italy. It was amazing in so many ways! The rolling green hills in Siena and Montepulciano were breathtaking. The people were warm and unhurried. I had the best meal of MY LIFE at a ristorante in Montepulciano called Le Logge Del Vignola. All the food I ate was SO FRESH! The bread and pasta did not make me bloated, the cheeses were mellow and comforting, the flavors and food combinations brought me joy. I do a weekly F-Word Friday on my youTube Channel (F words that inspire) and while I was in Italy, one F Word I presented was FRESH. The freshness of the food made me feel clean and clear. I was reminded that not only is it imperative to feed our bodies fresh food, but our minds as well. I had been serving up myself some old tapes in my head (stagnant thoughts) about all my shortcomings. Italy's fresh food reminded me to feed my mind fresh thoughts. So instead of berating myself with old thought patterns like "I'm so out of shape", or "I'm so fat", I fed my brain fresh food that nourished me. For example: "I hiked 12 miles today - I'm awesome!" "I am so blessed to be experiencing this beautiful country with two of my friends". "How exciting to be exploring a new country and culture". Fresh thoughts like that nourish me, it changes my state and how I look at things, it brings gratitude, appreciation and love. It builds me up and fortifies my being. As a woman thinketh, so is she. We are what we eat and what we think. I invite you to feed yourself fresh food at every meal, and fresh thoughts that fortify your mind, body and spirit. If you enjoyed this post, please share it with others. Grazie mille! |
AuthorSpiritual Foodie, Soul Chef, Holistic RN, Healer Archives
July 2025
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